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Wonder Woman Never Gets Pissed

I'm pissed today--pissed and irritated too.

I'm pissed because I'm restless, like I have all this bunched up energy in my body that can't get out. And it's not happy fun energy, but tense, angry and irritated energy. I need to make sure I don't drive behind slow cars today--cars with old men in hats.

I'm pissed because I want to do things and can't (won't) because of other things I need to (should) be doing. And some stuff I promised to do and wish now I had kept my fool mouth shut.

I'm pissed because I'm tired and have a "3 Aspirin Headache" that will NOT go away, no matter how many little white pills I throw at it. What will really happen if I take an extra Tylenol every now and then? Is it the same thing that happens after removing the "Do Not Remove under penalty of Law" tag on the mattress? If so, pass me another pill.

I'm pissed because there is a stack of dirty dishes in the sink that are waiting, just waiting for no one but me to do them. I can hear them now... making negative comments each time I pass by like dirty little construction workers yelling catcalls at a pretty girl. Except I'm not pretty today. Just rolled out of bed, ran fingers through my hair and have a new pimple on my chin. Pimples aren't pretty.

And now I'm pissed because my dishes don't find me attractive.

I'm pissed that I can't be Wonder Woman or Super Mom. I can't seem to have a clean house and a life to enjoy outside of Sesame Street reruns and loads of dirty laundry. If I was Wonder Woman could work late on my writing and pick up the kids in the invisible jet. I could fly super speed, bypass snarls of traffic and be in time to pick up the kids before the after 5pm fine. Wonder Woman is NEVER late. I could use Wonder Bracelets to deflect the self-destructive comments I get from my inner censor and worst critic.

"You call that writing?" --pling!

"Punctuation?" --zap!

"You're kidding yourself... creative?" --zing!

Nothing gets through the Wonder Bracelets. And I could use my Super Mom powers to speed wash AND dry sinks full of dishes, cook dinner in a flash with my laser vision, and super fold loads of laundry with a single Bounce. Super Mom does not get ring-around-the-collar. Except I'm not a superhero. And it pisses me off.

I'm pissed that all this pisses me off. Why should I care what other people think of my housekeeping skills? No, the fact of the matter is that I'm pissed because I DO CARE about my housekeeping.

I'm pissed about being pissed. I bet Wonder Woman never gets pissed.

And you know what....?

That really pisses me off!

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